Janeth Canama

I'm done with the dissertation. I sent it to my adviser and I'm just waiting for his feedback. This past month has been tough. I realized that I couldn't make it to the deadline. I could not graduate this semester. My break was not fun. It was no break at all. But it's over now. And strangely, I don't know what to do with myself. What do I do with my free time? Guess I gotta find a job soon.

  Before the feels fade and the high subside, I just want to document that I had a really great time in this year's MSP Region 10, 12 & BARMMM annual convention. I think it's the most fun conference I've attended, to date. I've been to a couple conferences in other MSP Regions, and conferences in math education but I think what makes this special is that most participants in this conference are my cohort. My peers who I used to only interact virtually I saw face-to-face. It was fun discussing math and everyone being enthusiastic about it. You could see collaborations forming after presentations. I don't think I will have a collaboration from it but it doesn't matter. This is me dipping my toes in the math ocean. I crave community and I got it. So many more things to reflect on but that will be reserved to my private journal. We gotta move forward, baby. No time to dwell.

I know Taylor Swift has released a new album. I don't really have a favorite though. I have not listened to it enough. Maybe 'questions?" So here I am at midnight. And I can't sleep. I should have went to the closing program of non-gaussian analysis. Maybe then I'll get tired from walking. I thought I could get some work done today but nada. Nothing about today went as planned. But that's fine. That's just life. I'm overwhelmed. Too many things are happening. My life could change in the next two months if I do it right. Where do I draw the inspiration from? I'm thinking of dedicating my dissertation to my late grandparents. I know I'm better at helping other people than myself. That's just my flaw. I can't sleep and there's a conference tomorrow. I'm way overstimulated and my mind is running at high speed. Will you settle down, please?

Our paper has been accepted for publication in Symmetry! This is indeed a milestone and I'm one step closer to graduation. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. This will give me a second wind to revise the manuscript for IDAQP. I've never been under this scrutiny from reviewers. I don't remember it being this tedious in my masters. Well, we were not required to publish then.  Anyway, I could get used to this feeling. I love the validation more than the fact that I'm closer to graduation. I'm excited to write more! I'm excited to do more research although I hate the revision process. It's love-hate, yes. But the pay-off is worth it. Now the pressure is on to submit the dissertation manuscript to my advisers and then to the panel. I hope I can make it.  

Two days, I received a somewhat good news. But I don't wanna talk about it yet because I don't wanna jinx it. For now I will work hard and write. If you squint at the title then you probably already know what it is. But again, nothing is certain until a final decision is made. Still a lot of work to do but I'm getting there. 

This is the second part of my Living alone series. Reiterating what I said in the first part, this also chronicles my struggles with my comprehensive exams and my PhD program. So I moved to an apartment in San Miguel, Iligan City from April 2021 to September 2021.   4/10 My plans were derailed. There was a fire somewhere near. I was already dragging my feet before then. But that really put a dent on my plans. Maybe I should drink coffee in the mornings to wake up. They were talking about the previous occupant. Apparently, it's someone they know. And he was robbed twice. Sometimes, you just gotta put your ear in the ground. I mean nothing happened. But it could have. And I don't know what to do if it happened to me. As I said, it derailed my plans. I could go out now but I'll just do it tomorrow. Maybe drink some tea in the meantime? Later at 7pm. That's the thing about me. I don't bounce back easily. But these things don't happen everyday. It's my...

I've submitted the paper to the journal. I've submitted the special order to the embassy. I've submitted the acceptance letter to DOST. And I haven't heard from any of them. Just silence. It's nerve-wracking. Guess I gotta be patient. And do something productive in the meantime. Like you know, write the dissertation manuscript.