So some students have been asking me what's the point of doing a PhD? What are the advantages?
And I answer that usually a PhD is needed to be a school principal. I gave that answer because that's the context that they can relate to. But that's not really my answer.
I don't plan on being a school principal or have a management role anytime soon.
So, why pursue a PhD?
The main reason is because I wanna do something that I'm naturally good at. I'm good at math so I want to lean more into that. Because that's where my advantage lies.
Which is funny because I wasn't always a natural at math. Yes, I was good at math in my elementary and high school years. I was even an MTAP participant at one point. But I didn't think of doing math as a career.
Until I had no other choice. But that's a story for another time.
High school and college math might have come easy to me. But proper math was a different beast.
Rigorous thinking did not come easy. I struggled for a semester or two. You mean to tell me I have to prove obvious statements? It was a different approach from physics which was my first course.
But I eventually got the hang of it.
I don't really remember how it happened. It just clicked, I guess.
Then everything became easy. I didn't feel lost anymore.
This was even validated by one of my professor saying that I'm now mathematically mature.
Didn't really know what that meant but it felt good.
Wish I was emotionally mature, too. I remember myself thinking. This was seven years ago.
So it was a stroke of fortune (or misfortune) that I realized I could do math as a career.
I loved doing math research
In graduate school, I found math research fulfilling.
Yes, it was challenging. But when you finally come up with a conjecture and prove it, it was exhilarating!
It made all the struggle worth it - the sleepless nights and numerous dead ends.
I learned that proofs came easier after a good night's sleep. Sometimes in my excitement, I'd like to solve a problem overnight. But that proved to be counterproductive.
So why did I not pursue a PhD immediately after graduation?
After submitting my master's thesis, I had this horrible feeling of being found out. Could I do it again? In a sense it was easy. But it shouldn't be easy, right? Something is wrong.
What if I choose a topic and I would get stuck? Forever. What would that say about me?
So I was scared of being found out that I was not good enough. Impostor syndrome, if you will.
By this time, I was also feeling burnt out and wanted to try something else.
I wanted to see the real-world. I wanted to contribute to society.
And so I did.
So why pursue a PhD now?
Part of the reason of joining DepEd was that I wanted to improve on my weaknesses, mainly, public speaking.
And that I did.
It's funny that I only really started honing my public speaking skills when I became a public school teacher. In a way, my supervisor is right. I really did come out of my shell.
In high school and college, I rarely, if ever, spoke in class discussions and recitations.
On that front, I improved.
But there are some things that I struggled with, such as, classroom management.
I realized that other teachers are better at it than I am.
Anyway, this move is basically a change in strategy.
Instead of fixing on my weaknesses, I'm leaning on my strengths.
Let's see where it takes me.
Let's see how far I could go.
Will I enjoy it or will I hate it? Who knows?
But I have to at least try. Even if I'm failing so far. Not for a lack of ability, no. But for a lack of effort.
Either way, I have to improve on my study habits. I feel like succeeding in this is not a matter of ability. No, not really.
It will take a strong work ethic. And those who are most disciplined will succeed.
Let's see if I'm right. Watch this space.
And I answer that usually a PhD is needed to be a school principal. I gave that answer because that's the context that they can relate to. But that's not really my answer.
I don't plan on being a school principal or have a management role anytime soon.
So, why pursue a PhD?
The main reason is because I wanna do something that I'm naturally good at. I'm good at math so I want to lean more into that. Because that's where my advantage lies.
Which is funny because I wasn't always a natural at math. Yes, I was good at math in my elementary and high school years. I was even an MTAP participant at one point. But I didn't think of doing math as a career.
Until I had no other choice. But that's a story for another time.
High school and college math might have come easy to me. But proper math was a different beast.
Rigorous thinking did not come easy. I struggled for a semester or two. You mean to tell me I have to prove obvious statements? It was a different approach from physics which was my first course.
But I eventually got the hang of it.
I don't really remember how it happened. It just clicked, I guess.
Then everything became easy. I didn't feel lost anymore.
This was even validated by one of my professor saying that I'm now mathematically mature.
Didn't really know what that meant but it felt good.
Wish I was emotionally mature, too. I remember myself thinking. This was seven years ago.
So it was a stroke of fortune (or misfortune) that I realized I could do math as a career.
I loved doing math research
In graduate school, I found math research fulfilling.
Yes, it was challenging. But when you finally come up with a conjecture and prove it, it was exhilarating!
It made all the struggle worth it - the sleepless nights and numerous dead ends.
I learned that proofs came easier after a good night's sleep. Sometimes in my excitement, I'd like to solve a problem overnight. But that proved to be counterproductive.
So why did I not pursue a PhD immediately after graduation?
After submitting my master's thesis, I had this horrible feeling of being found out. Could I do it again? In a sense it was easy. But it shouldn't be easy, right? Something is wrong.
What if I choose a topic and I would get stuck? Forever. What would that say about me?
So I was scared of being found out that I was not good enough. Impostor syndrome, if you will.
By this time, I was also feeling burnt out and wanted to try something else.
I wanted to see the real-world. I wanted to contribute to society.
And so I did.
So why pursue a PhD now?
Part of the reason of joining DepEd was that I wanted to improve on my weaknesses, mainly, public speaking.
And that I did.
It's funny that I only really started honing my public speaking skills when I became a public school teacher. In a way, my supervisor is right. I really did come out of my shell.
In high school and college, I rarely, if ever, spoke in class discussions and recitations.
On that front, I improved.
But there are some things that I struggled with, such as, classroom management.
I realized that other teachers are better at it than I am.
Anyway, this move is basically a change in strategy.
Instead of fixing on my weaknesses, I'm leaning on my strengths.
Let's see where it takes me.
Let's see how far I could go.
Will I enjoy it or will I hate it? Who knows?
But I have to at least try. Even if I'm failing so far. Not for a lack of ability, no. But for a lack of effort.
Either way, I have to improve on my study habits. I feel like succeeding in this is not a matter of ability. No, not really.
It will take a strong work ethic. And those who are most disciplined will succeed.
Let's see if I'm right. Watch this space.
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