What's your favorite way to waste time?

Oh this is easy. It's web surfing. Reading tweets on twitter. Browsing reddit. 

I don't know why. Maybe it's just boredom. But there's something else there too. I want to dip in the stream of humanity. I want to know how they live. Or maybe I want to hoard information? No, it's not that. Maybe I just have an insatiable curiosity.

I even wrote a poem about it--what are you staying up for? Maybe I just want you to tell me something I don't know. This space of not-knowing is so vast that I don't think I'll ever get to the bottom of it. But it's fun. But since I can't finish reading all of it, I waste a lot of time trying to be satiated.

I usually feel awful about it.

I guess the dissatisfaction comes from collecting disconnected information. I jump from topic to topic. There's no narrative that ties them together. So I don't feel satisfied at all.

You know what, that's actually a good thing because then I can stop. 

Because the problem with connected information is that I get addicted to it. I want more! I want that dopamine hit. Maybe that's why when I get obsessed with a topic I check the twitter streams to see what people are talking about it.

Either you don't have enough or you have too much. If the former, you fear that you're missing out on something. If the latter, you're like a monkey pulling a lever hoping that it will give you candy. 

I guess one of the reasons it's unsatisfying is that you were not really engaged. You're from the outside looking in. You don't feel like you've contributed to the conversation so you feel awful.