Skip to main content

Love is attention

Ever have someone get interested with you they want to know everything about you? You got their attention! 

It's uncomfortable because you suddenly find yourself an audience. You get self-conscious. Consequently, you watch your actions. You try to impress. 

This is not really the point I was trying to make.

My point is that if someone claims they love you, they should be able to give you their full attention. Words without actions to back them up are meaningless. In the modern world where people have short attention span, having someone focus only on you can be flattering.

I wonder if it's possible to love without giving attention. I don't think so. Because to truly know someone you have to observe. And that requires attention. Pure undivided attention.

I don't mean to say that you're what they think about 24/7. That's obsession. But when they do attend to you, it's intentional. Intent matters.

Although it's possible to observe things without intending to. But that's another post--accidental love.

It's not possible to love without giving attention. And attention means time. Where do you find time to give attention to someone and oh so willingly?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

This is the greatest love story ever told (and still being written). And I’m living in it! Since this blog has been instrumental in making it happen, it’s only fitting that I post it here. And so when people (me included) think it happened so fast, it’s actually years in the making. Having this blog fast tracked the “getting to know” stage. At least, that’s the logical part of me talking. But love is rarely logical.  How it started A day after final exams for the summer term of AY 2023-2024, I received a bunch of anonymous emails. At first, I shrugged it off as a newsletter that I signed up to. A couple emails later, it became clear that it came from one of my former students. Didn’t know it was her until August 2nd. Realized feelings were mutual the day after. Made the relationship official on August 7th. I was the one who asked because “she didn’t wanna cross the line”.  I used to say, in this blog , that I’m only interested in how couples get together, not really what’s ...
Post a Comment
Read more

I can't finish watching Laggies...

Why am I bothered by Laggies ? So much so that I don’t like finishing it? I guess the main character is about to make wrong decisions. And that gives me anxiety. I’m screaming at the screen, “No! Don’t do that”. But of course, they still do. Of course. I already know how this is gonna end. Why does it bother me so much when technically she’s not doing anything wrong? Oh yes, she’s gonna hurt her fiance when she inevitably breaks off their engagement. And? I don’t know. As I said, I don’t like it when characters make wrong decisions.  She’s running away because she discovered that her father is having an affair. And instead of confronting him, she’s living with a teenager and her dad. And of course, she’s gonna fall in love with the dad. Predictable. I guess I just don’t like it when I don’t have control over things. The question is: will my worrying ever change the outcome? No. Definitely not. It’s all predetermined. But why am I worried on behalf of the main character? Even if she...
Post a Comment
Read more

Anthem by Ayn Rand: Individualism vs Collectivism (reaction pre-pandemic)

I read Anthem by Ayn Rand before the pandemic happened. So my thoughts and opinions are not colored by people's reaction to the pandemic (e.g. anti-maskers).  First off, I disagree with Ms. Rand's over-arching thesis that selfishness is always good. Too much individuality has made me feel alienated from other people. The best feelings that I had are when I feel connected to other people. The following quote resonated with me because I'm usually secretive with my thoughts and opinions. I don't share my thoughts freely that's why i have a private twitter account. It is a sin to write this. It is a sin to think words no others think and to put them down upon a paper no others are to see. It is base and evil. It is as if we were speaking alone to no ears but our own. But according to the "document, don't create" philosophy you should share to the world your progress and don't just keep it to yourself. You might as well get constructive feedback and mee...
Post a Comment
Read more