Post-proposal reflection

Just a quick update on my PhD journey. I passed my compre last November. Barely. I presented my proposal last week. I need to revise it. Add a lot more of preliminary concepts. I don't even know where to start.

I also have a paper to write. And I hit a snag. The Lie algebra that I'm studying has a lot more elements than I thought. The results are still valid but describing them is a lot more difficult now. It's a nice problem to have though. It has become more interesting.

My adviser has asked me if I celebrated after my proposal. I actually didn't. I rested for a couple of days so I guess that counts as "celebration". And now I'm on my period so I can't work as much because of cramps. I haven't gotten out of the house either. I plan to after my period is over.

I don't know what to make of this discontent. I'm actually ahead of schedule. But the expectations are so high it feels like I'm lagging behind. Feeling grateful is not automatic.

I realize I'm learning a lot more now. Things that used to be difficult are easier now. But some things are still hard. I'll figure it out eventually.

I'm writing this post to remind myself that I'm lucky. Yes, I worked hard for them but there's still an element of luck in it. I actually manifested my research topic somewhat. It's crazy.

Words are indeed powerful.

Comments

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Janeth Canama

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