Janeth Canama

This is the greatest love story ever told (and still being written). And I’m living in it! Since this blog has been instrumental in making it happen, it’s only fitting that I post it here. And so when people (me included) think it happened so fast, it’s actually years in the making. Having this blog fast tracked the “getting to know” stage. At least, that’s the logical part of me talking. But love is rarely logical.  How it started A day after final exams for the summer term of AY 2023-2024, I received a bunch of anonymous emails. At first, I shrugged it off as a newsletter that I signed up to. A couple emails later, it became clear that it came from one of my former students. Didn’t know it was her until August 2nd. Realized feelings were mutual the day after. Made the relationship official on August 7th. I was the one who asked because “she didn’t wanna cross the line”.  I used to say, in this blog , that I’m only interested in how couples get together, not really what’s ...

After graduation, I was hired as a lecturer in IIT. I attended IACP 2023 in Cebu. It was my first time there. It was also the first time I had my flight cancelled. And we were rescheduled to a flight in the morning. Then, on the way back, I almost missed my flight! Good thing I checked-in in advance and had my boarding pass printed. Phew! Just charge it to experience. Be on the airport 2-3 hrs before the flight even in domestic flights. Then the summer term got shortened to just a month. That was interesting. And now I'm preparing for the first semester of the upcoming school year.  Welcome to the real world, Janeth. 

Hi. I got my PhD last July 18. This means that the PhD 2023 Project is a success! There's nothing much to say. It was a rollercoaster ride. After several challenges, it was done. People were happy for me, they were congratulating me. But honestly, I'm just relieved. It dragged on longer than it should and towards the end I was just waiting. I was bored with nothing to do. Maybe one of these days I will write a longer reflection of the journey but I just wanted to formally end it. Hence this post.

A letter to myself (written Nov 2021) *** You probably heard by now. The result of the comprehensive exams. And I'm going to influence that (whatever it is). You're probably angry with me because I slacked off. I continue to procrastinate because I haven't been punished yet. I hope I don't get punished. You're going to take the brunt of that. It's weird talking to you (myself) like this. I know I'm already behind. I don't know where to start. Where to prioritize. I can't afford to go slow. But I also can't panic. I hope I don't panic tomorrow. I know I've been selfish. Talking about myself like this. What about you? I hope you get the favorable outcome that you wanted. I haven't been helpful on that front. But I will still try. No matter how small time there is left. If I'm able to pull this off, I hope you give your best in your research! Show them what you're made of! That's the only consolation for the anguish that this...

I'm done with the dissertation. I sent it to my adviser and I'm just waiting for his feedback. This past month has been tough. I realized that I couldn't make it to the deadline. I could not graduate this semester. My break was not fun. It was no break at all. But it's over now. And strangely, I don't know what to do with myself. What do I do with my free time? Guess I gotta find a job soon.

  Before the feels fade and the high subside, I just want to document that I had a really great time in this year's MSP Region 10, 12 & BARMMM annual convention. I think it's the most fun conference I've attended, to date. I've been to a couple conferences in other MSP Regions, and conferences in math education but I think what makes this special is that most participants in this conference are my cohort. My peers who I used to only interact virtually I saw face-to-face. It was fun discussing math and everyone being enthusiastic about it. You could see collaborations forming after presentations. I don't think I will have a collaboration from it but it doesn't matter. This is me dipping my toes in the math ocean. I crave community and I got it. So many more things to reflect on but that will be reserved to my private journal. We gotta move forward, baby. No time to dwell.

I know Taylor Swift has released a new album. I don't really have a favorite though. I have not listened to it enough. Maybe 'questions?" So here I am at midnight. And I can't sleep. I should have went to the closing program of non-gaussian analysis. Maybe then I'll get tired from walking. I thought I could get some work done today but nada. Nothing about today went as planned. But that's fine. That's just life. I'm overwhelmed. Too many things are happening. My life could change in the next two months if I do it right. Where do I draw the inspiration from? I'm thinking of dedicating my dissertation to my late grandparents. I know I'm better at helping other people than myself. That's just my flaw. I can't sleep and there's a conference tomorrow. I'm way overstimulated and my mind is running at high speed. Will you settle down, please?

Our paper has been accepted for publication in Symmetry! This is indeed a milestone and I'm one step closer to graduation. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. This will give me a second wind to revise the manuscript for IDAQP. I've never been under this scrutiny from reviewers. I don't remember it being this tedious in my masters. Well, we were not required to publish then.  Anyway, I could get used to this feeling. I love the validation more than the fact that I'm closer to graduation. I'm excited to write more! I'm excited to do more research although I hate the revision process. It's love-hate, yes. But the pay-off is worth it. Now the pressure is on to submit the dissertation manuscript to my advisers and then to the panel. I hope I can make it.  

Two days, I received a somewhat good news. But I don't wanna talk about it yet because I don't wanna jinx it. For now I will work hard and write. If you squint at the title then you probably already know what it is. But again, nothing is certain until a final decision is made. Still a lot of work to do but I'm getting there. 

This is the second part of my Living alone series. Reiterating what I said in the first part, this also chronicles my struggles with my comprehensive exams and my PhD program. So I moved to an apartment in San Miguel, Iligan City from April 2021 to September 2021.   4/10 My plans were derailed. There was a fire somewhere near. I was already dragging my feet before then. But that really put a dent on my plans. Maybe I should drink coffee in the mornings to wake up. They were talking about the previous occupant. Apparently, it's someone they know. And he was robbed twice. Sometimes, you just gotta put your ear in the ground. I mean nothing happened. But it could have. And I don't know what to do if it happened to me. As I said, it derailed my plans. I could go out now but I'll just do it tomorrow. Maybe drink some tea in the meantime? Later at 7pm. That's the thing about me. I don't bounce back easily. But these things don't happen everyday. It's my...

I've submitted the paper to the journal. I've submitted the special order to the embassy. I've submitted the acceptance letter to DOST. And I haven't heard from any of them. Just silence. It's nerve-wracking. Guess I gotta be patient. And do something productive in the meantime. Like you know, write the dissertation manuscript.

Today I woke up feeling like the world was spinning. Didn't know what was wrong. Tried sleeping it off and then I felt like I had to throw up. I did throw up and it was pure acid! Twice! So that was what stomach acid tasted like, like pure unripe mango. I didn't see the color because it was dark. But there was no food in it. Just pure liquid and it reacted like acid! Just scary. The last meal I've eaten is breakfast/lunch. But this is the first time this has happened to me. So that was the cause of my headache/vertigo. So I eventually ate something even though I had no appetite. And I feel a lot better now. I really don't know the reason for this episode. Maybe food poisoning? Who knows. The body keeps score. And it wants me to know that it was not okay.

I've lived alone twice. In two different apartments. I eventually went back home because, damn, it was lonely. As to why I moved out in the first place, that's a story for another day. But this post will chronicle those experiences. Incidentally, this also chronicles the struggles I had with my PhD program. (December 2020) F###. I'm still not in the mood. F###. This is so boring. I barely have time to cope with my first exam. But it has to be done. How can I make it less boring? See this is what I haven't anticipated. That I won't have motivation to go on. No, I still want to go on. I just need a break. I hate to be pressured above all things. There were some things that I haven't anticipated--like not being able to enter the building, and hence not being able to study for half a day. But honestly, it wouldn't have made much of a difference. For it to make a difference I would have to have processed the concepts weeks ago. Too late but that...