Skip to main content

30

I celebrated my 30th birthday this week. And I feel like it deserves a post at least. But I don't know what to write.

If you think about it, I've lived a third of my life (if I live to 90 that is). I'm not really worried about that. I don't have a particular goal to hit. I don't plan to get married and form a family, for example.

I'd like to finish my PhD though. And I can now focus fully on writing my dissertation. The results that I got were quite simple in retrospect although getting there was not straightforward. I got stuck a lot of times. I took a break and when I got back I realized how to fix it.

I kind of question my output. Is it good enough? My adviser says so. Then it must be. Who am I to argue with that? I have to get better at receiving feedback.

I'm not really good at multi-tasking. Things overwhelm me. But the rare moments when I got into the zone were exhilarating. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the roller-coaster of emotions.

There's really no point to this post but just some sort of timestamp. A moment in time. I do have some things that bother me but I'd rather keep them private. I'm out here trying to discern what to give away and what to keep.

Well, that's that. I don't know what's in store in the future but at least I'm surviving.

 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

This is the greatest love story ever told (and still being written). And I’m living in it! Since this blog has been instrumental in making it happen, it’s only fitting that I post it here. And so when people (me included) think it happened so fast, it’s actually years in the making. Having this blog fast tracked the “getting to know” stage. At least, that’s the logical part of me talking. But love is rarely logical.  How it started A day after final exams for the summer term of AY 2023-2024, I received a bunch of anonymous emails. At first, I shrugged it off as a newsletter that I signed up to. A couple emails later, it became clear that it came from one of my former students. Didn’t know it was her until August 2nd. Realized feelings were mutual the day after. Made the relationship official on August 7th. I was the one who asked because “she didn’t wanna cross the line”.  I used to say, in this blog , that I’m only interested in how couples get together, not really what’s ...

I can't finish watching Laggies...

Why am I bothered by Laggies ? So much so that I don’t like finishing it? I guess the main character is about to make wrong decisions. And that gives me anxiety. I’m screaming at the screen, “No! Don’t do that”. But of course, they still do. Of course. I already know how this is gonna end. Why does it bother me so much when technically she’s not doing anything wrong? Oh yes, she’s gonna hurt her fiance when she inevitably breaks off their engagement. And? I don’t know. As I said, I don’t like it when characters make wrong decisions.  She’s running away because she discovered that her father is having an affair. And instead of confronting him, she’s living with a teenager and her dad. And of course, she’s gonna fall in love with the dad. Predictable. I guess I just don’t like it when I don’t have control over things. The question is: will my worrying ever change the outcome? No. Definitely not. It’s all predetermined. But why am I worried on behalf of the main character? Even if she...

Anthem by Ayn Rand: Individualism vs Collectivism (reaction pre-pandemic)

I read Anthem by Ayn Rand before the pandemic happened. So my thoughts and opinions are not colored by people's reaction to the pandemic (e.g. anti-maskers).  First off, I disagree with Ms. Rand's over-arching thesis that selfishness is always good. Too much individuality has made me feel alienated from other people. The best feelings that I had are when I feel connected to other people. The following quote resonated with me because I'm usually secretive with my thoughts and opinions. I don't share my thoughts freely that's why i have a private twitter account. It is a sin to write this. It is a sin to think words no others think and to put them down upon a paper no others are to see. It is base and evil. It is as if we were speaking alone to no ears but our own. But according to the "document, don't create" philosophy you should share to the world your progress and don't just keep it to yourself. You might as well get constructive feedback and mee...