You deserve newborn love

I was listening to Blind by Lifehouse on repeat and these lyrics stood out to me and I couldn't help but feel emotional. I always loved this song but today is just one of those days when it hit me.

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know

I always felt that I have to do something incredible to be deserving of love.

But no, the moment I was born I was already deserving of love. I don't have to do anything.

How can you expect someone else to love you if you can't even love yourself?

I'm so hard on myself lately. Like existing is not even enough.

I don't have to feel this way anymore. At least I'm trying to.

Anyway, I was listening to this song on repeat and I cannot get enough of it. I had to pause it eventually because I was looking for drum covers. But they ain't any good. At least not the way I want it to.

Comments

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

This is the greatest love story ever told (and still being written). And I’m living in it! Since this blog has been instrumental in making it happen, it’s only fitting that I post it here. And so when people (me included) think it happened so fast, it’s actually years in the making. Having this blog fast tracked the “getting to know” stage. At least, that’s the logical part of me talking. But love is rarely logical. How it started A day after final exams for the summer term of AY 2023-2024, I received a bunch of anonymous emails. At first, I shrugged it off as a newsletter that I signed up to. A couple emails later, it became clear that it came from one of my former students. Didn’t know it was her until August 2nd. Realized feelings were mutual the day after. Made the relationship official on August 7th. I was the one who asked because “she didn’t wanna cross the line”. I used to say, in this blog , that I’m only interested in how couples get together, not really what’s ...

Dream high: My ideal dissertation topic

I want my study to be foundational . Something I and others can stand on. Seminal, I would say. I don't want it to just be a dissertation. Something you write and then forget. I want it to inspire me and others. The second criteria that I want is interdisciplinarity. It has to draw on two or more fields--not just mathematics. Something people outside math can appreciate. The T-shaped model comes to mind. The generalist-specialist. Source: Why T-shaped people? by Jason Yip I know it's a pipe dream. But if I have to dream, why not dream high, right? But I have to be careful that it doesn't stop me from even starting. I should not let perfectionism hinder me from exploring.

Happy new year!

I'm done with the dissertation. I sent it to my adviser and I'm just waiting for his feedback. This past month has been tough. I realized that I couldn't make it to the deadline. I could not graduate this semester. My break was not fun. It was no break at all. But it's over now. And strangely, I don't know what to do with myself. What do I do with my free time? Guess I gotta find a job soon.

Janeth Canama

Search This Blog