Janeth Canama

I was just thinking how i'm overthinking about overthinking. like i know i overthink. i know i don't get a lot done because i overthink how i'm gonna do it and i know that one of way of doing that... one way of really getting past procrastination is to break it down into steps and just get started because if you get started then it will always linger that you have some task that you have not yet finished and that will always always make you anxious there's a nagging feeling that you have not finished something that you've started so just get started give yourself say a minute to start the task just one minute what's one minute, anyway? then worry about finishing it later there are chances that you might like it so much that you will end up finishing it in one seating -- This post was written on December 30, 2018. The simplest way to overcome excuses is to set a timer for one minute (or maybe five?) and go do.

I want my study to be foundational . Something I and others can stand on. Seminal, I would say. I don't want it to just be a dissertation. Something you write and then forget. I want it to inspire me and others. The second criteria that I want is interdisciplinarity. It has to draw on two or more fields--not just mathematics. Something people outside math can appreciate. The T-shaped model comes to mind. The generalist-specialist. Source:  Why T-shaped people? by Jason Yip I know it's a pipe dream. But if I have to dream, why not dream high, right? But I have to be careful that it doesn't stop me from even starting. I should not let perfectionism hinder me from exploring.

“There is no point to any of this. It’s all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of neat escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good; the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter becomes a crackle…and I sit back and I smoke my camel straight and I ride my own melt.”  ― Troy Dyer, Reality Bites In watching movies or reading novels What I’m interested in is not necessarily if the two characters end up together Because sooner or later they will Let’s be real But rather in  how they get together In tv tropes speak, will they or won’t they?   The slow burn Oh I love me some slow burn As long as it leads to the couple eventually getting together I'm okay with that If a couple gets together quickly, I lose interest It's like it was not earned? Conflicts, as much as i hate them Are actually fundamental in creating an engaging ...

No, I don't use youtube premium nor red. Just twitter. And a twitter account, of course. First, copy the URL of the youtube video you want to listen to in the background. For me, I like listening to music while reading articles, for example,  Guitar Vibe . I'm using Android. I don't know if this trick works for iPhone too. Step 1: Tweet the link of the video Step 2: Play it Step 3: Go to another tab or open a new tab. Naturally, the audio from youtube will stop. Step 4: Open Quick Settings. To do this, just drag your finger from the top of your screen downward . Step 5: Hit Play! Now you can read articles and browse websites while listening to youtube. Here's a video that demonstrates how it's done.

Let's say I want to transcribe the audio from an ode to empty notebooks because it resonated with me. I need the following websites. 1.  https://downsub.com 2.  https://subtitletools.com/s rt-cleaner 3.  https://anatolt.ru/t/del- timestamp-srt.html 4.  http://removelinebreaks.net Actually you can skip website 2 (subtitletools). It barely does anyting. It just removes the [MUSIC] tag. STEP 1: Download the subtitle Copy the URL of the video you want to transcribe and paste it to  https://downsub.com/ You have an option to download the srt or txt file. Download the srt file. STEP 2: SRT-cleaner (Optional) This step barely does anything. It merely removes the speaker tag or the [MUSIC] tag. You may skip it. Upload the srt file to  https://subtitletools.com/srt-cleaner  then click Clean . STEP 3: Remove Timestamps Copy the content of your srt file and then paste it to the left text field of  https://a...

we deal with objects that don't feel anything the rules are there because it's fun  and sometimes restrictions are good because if it's too general  then you don't really get to discover  anything interesting at all but it's the beauty of math i mean, you're dealing with objects you're dealing with concepts that are logical not logical that are not bounded by reality they don't feel numbers don't feel anything you can add them up you can subtract them  divide them isolate them they don't feel anything you can manipulate anything you want anyway you want you can do that within the rules of mathematics you can do that you can add and you can do repeated addition  which is multiplication you can subtract you can multiply you can repeatedly multiply the same number to itself which is exponentiation you can divide what else? you can do the opposite operation to get...

I'm going to share a part of the book Ready Player One  that at the time resonated with me because it describes my introverted tendencies and my aversion to social contact. But now that I revisited it, it seems fitting in Corona times too. The delivery services. The introversion. The lack of social contact.  The main character is immersed in an online world-- the OASIS. It has become his real life. The meatspace  has become secondary.  No outside light ever penetrated my apartment. The single window had once provided a view of the Columbus skyline, but I’d spray-painted it completely black a few days after I moved in. I’d decided that everything outside the window was a distraction from my quest, so I didn’t need to waste time staring at it. I didn’t want to hear the outside world, either, but I hadn’t been able to improve upon the apartment’s existing soundproofing. So I had to live with the muffled sounds of wind and rain, and of street and air traffic. Eve...

as you may already know, i got a scholarship  for my phd studies let me share that time when i thought i did not.  i didn't hear anything and it was already the start of the semester so i was already losing hope. as they say, most of our troubles are in our head the way i was rationalizing this "setback" was enlightening --- how do i feel that i'm not selected for the scholarship (seems like) it's humbling i realize that i'm nobody. keeps me on my toes. keeps me from being complacent. keeps me from thinking i'm somebody. i'm even more motivated. nobody owes me anything. i have to prove that i'm capable, not necessarily to them but to myself. this is all just a game to me anyway. a game? yes, a game. because i just wanna play. i just wanna socialize too.  immerse i like this quote. seems relevant at the moment. “Winning is only satisfying when there is a possibility of failure. The possibi...

I think I lack momentum That's it I have nothing to be excited about Because I haven't done enough As much as I love that there are no classes I also kinda hate it? The lack of activity is idk unnerving? I feel unproductive like I'm wasting my time I could spend this time on more productive things Like what? Why can't I study deep enough ? Because something is always bothering me at the back of my mind Responsibilities. Deadlines. Forms. Exams. What have you I'd really like to dive deep I really do But I know that I would enjoy it very much To the detriment of other more important work-related things But I love the boring bits, right? Repeat that until you believe it Diving deep means getting lost in the weeds The minutiae It's like solving a puzzle or a crime scene What's going on here? Clouds and dirt and then back to clouds again And so on and so forth Some mathematicians are birds, others are frogs. Birds fly high i...

I looked up the definition of arbitrary. Turns out it doesn't fit what I'm trying to say here. I think traditional would fit more. But I like the word "arbitrary". I like saying it. ar-bit-ra-ry. So I'll stick with it. Even if it's not really what I mean. Days are arbitrary Months are arbitrary Who decided that a day has 24 hours? That March has 31 days? Just imaginary boundaries that we use To mark the passage of time If there were 60 days in a month instead of 30 what difference does it make? I know, I know It's the moon's fault But really Why should we pander to the moon? Were our ancestors Luna fanatics? (heh) Most of the world is no longer agricultural At least based on my experience So why do we still adhere to seasons? Or is it just the usual case of tradition carrying over? What if we only have one long month with 365 days? What then? What difference would that make? Birth month is over Why celebrate birthday...

imagine you're an introvert going to a party and you know nobody so you're gonna panic but if you know some people or someone looks familiar "oh, i know you" you're gonna relax this is not so bad after all so what's the goal? the goal is to know as many people as possible most especially the key people and hope that you will still recognize them outside in the real world and if they quiz you about them you can answer them or improvise some acceptable answer so as not to upset them because the worst feeling is seeing someone in public and not remembering their name and worse still, in this context is to recognize someone in the crowd and not remember where you met them or their contributions as the song say, "i remember the boy but i don't remember the feeling anymore" familiar but shallow you didn't know them at all

connections that don't amount to anything to the many people that we meet everyday to those that stood out which ones will leave a mark? which ones will go on to make an impact? are you the one or are you simply one of moments in time randomized why? why wonder at all? will our paths intersect in the future? or was that simply a one time thing? a fluke

This is my reaction to our first exam in Algebra . Thought I'd post it here for future use. You know, perspective. This is just one setback I can always bounce back Pain is better than boredom Where did I go wrong? Without self-flagellation.. I'm hungry My stomach is acting up But I feel alive More than ever My time management needs improvement (I've been complacent) Focus on the long term The journey is long - three years You are only two months in I thought you love adversity If it challenges you Panindigan mo Understanding over grades Survival mode muna Then you can explore later Self-soothing Don't be paralyzed by your internal standard Let other people tell you you're not capable Wag mo silang pangunahan

This was a speech that I wrote after I got hired as a public school teacher. I never delivered it. First of all, it's cringy. Sentimental. Even trying to be emotional. It shows my naivete. My idealism. I don't regret writing it because as I said that's the point of this blog . Some of the things I wrote I don't believe anymore. I've grown cynical even. I don't believe that the woes of the Philippine educational system can be solved in a decade. I don't even know if I care to fix it.  But my love for math is still there. That's a constant, at least. Nonetheless, here it is. The introductory speech that never happened. Hello everyone! Good morning! I am your new teacher. I will be teaching you mathematics. But before we start with our lessons, I will ask you to answer a few questions about yourself. I know that math is not everyone's favorite subject; some of you may like it, most of you may not. Some people like a subject because it's ea...

Thank God for this day! I feel like I feel blessed Especially that my birthday is fast approaching I'm not really one to celebrate I don’t really know the point of celebrating I guess yeah There are things to be thankful for But I feel like the past few months has been so stressful That I don't feel as lucky as I want to be But I know I am I am extremely lucky I remember that this time last year I was bored out of my mind I was praying for something Anything to occupy my time I wanted to contribute to society And I did I got hired to do this job which is incredible But you know It can get old sometimes But perspective man Perspective It has been eye opening to say the least And I wish I could do more And I will do more This experience has motivated me in ways I could never imagine But first I have to deal with the dirt The things that are not as fun as teaching or learning or competing Dirt before the clouds --- This post was originall...

So I always wanted to write Like write about a lot of topics and ideas But I just never got going If you look at my blog I had a couple of posts But not many So I learned about this trick To stop myself from obsessively editing Or self critiquing Or self editing That prevents creativity to flow So what I did And I am it doing right now Is to make the font color white This way I won't have to see what I am typing previously So I am just in the moment Just in the moment I wont be consciously editing Or worrying Whether what I'm writing Or typing makes sense This way I won't be crippled by perfectionism This way I can let my thoughts flow freely --- This post was originally written on March 2018. Then edited for misspellings and typos on April 2020.

I've been watching a lot of movies lately. Recently, I watched two similar movies back-to-back. Friends With Benefits and No Strings Attached. After watching these movies, I was eager to move on to the next movie but I stopped myself and said, "No, you can't watch another movie without writing about these two. You promised yourself as much." Ugh, how boring. This is supposed to be fun. Now it has become work. Mandatory. I kinda feel how professional critics feel. It takes away the little enjoyment I had of simply watching it. Not that I enjoyed them very much. I kinda had a hard time getting into them. But now that it's finished I'm kinda glad I forced myself to write it. It's not the greatest piece of writing. But it's something that came from me. A movie filtered through my way of thinking.

movies are so simplistic they're rarely realistic but that's kind of the point though maybe life is so simple we're just making it complicated it's as simple as making a choice it may not always work out but when it does it's glorious stuck in analysis paralysis making scenarios in your head on what could go wrong not on what could go right honestly it's just another excuse not to do a botched attempt is better than no attempt at least it's real not hypothetical “He not busy being born is busy dying.” ― Bob Dylan

So I watched two movies about friends with benefits with the intent of comparing and contrasting them. Interestingly, both movies were released in 2011. From now on, I will only be using acronyms for the movies. Friends With Benefits (FWB) and No Strings Attached (NSA). Also for the actors. Justin Timberlake (JT), Mila Kunis (MK), Ashton Kutcher (AK), and Natalie Portman (NP). I'll use the actors' initials to mean their characters because I can hardly remember their characters' names. This post contains SPOILERS. You've been warned . image grabbed from slashfilm.com Chemistry-wise, I think NSA is better. AK and NP are more believable as a couple. Personally, I relate to NP's character the most. Pride: one of the seven deadly sins  I didn't like FWB very much. Although, MK is hot so there's that. I just can't pinpoint exactly when JT fell in love with her. Is it during that Hollywood climb? Climbing with her even though he's af...

Who is my audience? Who am I writing all this for? And the quick answer is me. The future me. Photo by  Alex Powell  from  Pexels I'd like to feel the same awe as I have now reading my past writings . Like so: An unfortunate being as I am, I’m stuck here inside this boring house and I’m making my life more miserable day by day. Do I have a choice? I should not be surprised anymore. Why, I’ve been doing this for years already… if not ages. (April 2008) Quite fitting for quarantining. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am still very miserable inside. My heart still bears the pain of the past and the anxiety of the present. Whenever I am alone, I remember very well how foolish I had been and how I continue to be foolish. Deep inside exists the mystery of my soul, the explanation of why I act this or that way, why I am very inconsistent and irrational. (January 2008) Did I really write that? How poetic, albeit a bit pretentious. I feel like my sixt...