Skip to main content

Reading and watching fiction: How does love blossom?

“There is no point to any of this. It’s all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of neat escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good; the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter becomes a crackle…and I sit back and I smoke my camel straight and I ride my own melt.” ― Troy Dyer, Reality Bites


In watching movies or reading novels
What I’m interested in is not necessarily if the two characters end up together
Because sooner or later they will
Let’s be real

But rather in how they get together

In tv tropes speak, will they or won’t they? 
The slow burn
Oh I love me some slow burn
As long as it leads to the couple eventually getting together
I'm okay with that

If a couple gets together quickly, I lose interest
It's like it was not earned?
Conflicts, as much as i hate them
Are actually fundamental in creating an engaging story

The gaze 

I’m interested in the gestures
The look
The moment of realization
You know
The moment when they realized that they love their beloved

Oh I’m not saying that it’s a distinct moment
Although sometimes it could be
It just hits you like that
Caught unaware

But sometimes it’s a gradual thing
You just feel that this someone is important
And you want to cherish them
And protect them
And maybe even possess them

Although that could be toxic

I’m also interested in the conflict
Of processing a new feeling or emotion
And making sense of it
Dismissing it or acting on it

The pining
And the seemingly unrequited love
The denial and insecurity 
How do you cope with that?

How does a romance blossom?

And if it’s pretty clear that the two characters are into each other
Then the story is over
What I mean is
I’m no longer interested in what happens next

I guess because I’ve never been there before-- sustaining a relationship
I’ve never been in a serious relationship

So that’s why I’m not interested in the story after the couple gets together
Although I could imagine that they will deal with a different set of conflicts
Just not something that I can relate to at the moment

So why do I lose interest?

Because usually it’s just one of two things
Either the couple live happily ever after which means they get married and be domestic 
and deal with whatever it is that married couples deal with

Or eventually break up because of some circumstances
Doesn’t mean that they no longer love each other though
It’s just that love can no longer sustain their relationship

Love ain’t enough

So that’s what I'm after
The details
The moment in time
The problem solving that comes with the desire to get together
Because it’s not always easy

Having mutual attraction doesn’t always mean that both parties will want to pursue it
What pushes people to pursue it?
I don’t know
But that’s what I want to find out
That’s what I want to watch on screen
And that’s what I want to read in prose and poetry



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

This is the greatest love story ever told (and still being written). And I’m living in it! Since this blog has been instrumental in making it happen, it’s only fitting that I post it here. And so when people (me included) think it happened so fast, it’s actually years in the making. Having this blog fast tracked the “getting to know” stage. At least, that’s the logical part of me talking. But love is rarely logical.  How it started A day after final exams for the summer term of AY 2023-2024, I received a bunch of anonymous emails. At first, I shrugged it off as a newsletter that I signed up to. A couple emails later, it became clear that it came from one of my former students. Didn’t know it was her until August 2nd. Realized feelings were mutual the day after. Made the relationship official on August 7th. I was the one who asked because “she didn’t wanna cross the line”.  I used to say, in this blog , that I’m only interested in how couples get together, not really what’s ...

Happy new year!

I'm done with the dissertation. I sent it to my adviser and I'm just waiting for his feedback. This past month has been tough. I realized that I couldn't make it to the deadline. I could not graduate this semester. My break was not fun. It was no break at all. But it's over now. And strangely, I don't know what to do with myself. What do I do with my free time? Guess I gotta find a job soon.

A letter to my future self

A letter to myself (written Nov 2021) *** You probably heard by now. The result of the comprehensive exams. And I'm going to influence that (whatever it is). You're probably angry with me because I slacked off. I continue to procrastinate because I haven't been punished yet. I hope I don't get punished. You're going to take the brunt of that. It's weird talking to you (myself) like this. I know I'm already behind. I don't know where to start. Where to prioritize. I can't afford to go slow. But I also can't panic. I hope I don't panic tomorrow. I know I've been selfish. Talking about myself like this. What about you? I hope you get the favorable outcome that you wanted. I haven't been helpful on that front. But I will still try. No matter how small time there is left. If I'm able to pull this off, I hope you give your best in your research! Show them what you're made of! That's the only consolation for the anguish that this...